So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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