What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
