i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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