my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize