It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
