you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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