I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
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