If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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