we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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