the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Randomize
