dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
