If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
