I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
