barbara walters just said penis...
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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