Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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