hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
