home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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