I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Randomize
