did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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