So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
