Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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