Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
