He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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