I'm lost and stupid without you.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
