I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
