There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
