sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
