i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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