Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I feel like abortions should bother me more
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
