Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
