if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize