when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
