I cannot find my penis.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
