i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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