Me. At least after what I've been through.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
