Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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