from now on my penis is your penis
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
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