He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
