He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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