So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
