stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
