Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i came on her dog
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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