those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
