I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
