if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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