got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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