get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
