so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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