Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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