There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize