We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
