So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize