I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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