After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
