New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
