He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
