There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
