I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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