So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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