She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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