benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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