i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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