How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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