i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
